Regent University School of Udnergraduate Studies

Friday, September 12, 2008

At 26 and 2 quarters years old, I finally get it!

As I transition to another year of life... [My birthday is October 3rd] I am forever grateful for the decision I made in 2005 to live for Christ and only Him.

Since that time, I have had many trials and tribulations but through Christ I’ve overcome them all. So much about me has changed in a year’s time. This time last year I had a certain outlook on life that has changed. You know how sometimes we ladies and men have planned our entire lives down to the tee. In my “own” mind I was supposed to be married and with child number two by the age I am approaching now. At 27 years old on October 3rd, none of that has occurred. As I reflect on the time wasted and the lessons learned over the years I know that it is by God’s grace that I am not in that position with the choices I was making. Now this isn’t a bashing blog! I am not about to bash ex boyfriends, etc. They are men of God, just not my God-ordained Man of God. I will say that since I’ve been a believer the choices I made in men were not backed by God no matter how much I attempted to fool myself into believing they were.

How do I know? Because there was always the absence of peace. Peace was no longer my umpire.
Colossians 3:15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. (Amplified)

But I wanted it anyway. All along God was just trying to protect my heart. He knows who will treat it like he does. In my mind, I wanted to be married and have children…NOW. I was willing to sacrifice total peace and probably more to have the illusion of happiness or the American dream!

The truth is I needed to work on me! Yes, I have accomplished A LOT in my life. But God requires much more of ME because of the call on my life. I can no longer compare myself to others because they are not called to do what God has ultimately called me to do. As I type this with tears of Joy, I am so grateful and humbled for God to call me to do these things to show His glory! “Me of all people??” That is what I think most times.

The Hell I’ve experienced is enough to make some people commit suicide. I felt as though I was just hit by a bus! Truth be told and it will be told, at several points in my life that is what I wanted to occur! Can you imagine being in such agony and defeat that you would be willing to take your own life? Please the biography will give details one day. LOL

But God!!! In all of these trials I am still here! And at 26 and 3 quarters LOL I finally GET IT!
Psalm 62:8Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us (a fortress and a high tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (Amplified)

This is a scripture that is such a cliché to sooo many Christians! Trust takes commitment! Even when things don’t happen the way you prayed for them to happen, will you TRUST God? Most of us won’t. Most of us faint, scale back or even become angry and bitter because you haven’t received what you want. You look all around you and instead of truly being happy and rejoicing with others; you congratulate them with your mouth when your heart is far from what you say! Trust means that even though you can’t explain why things did not go down the way you wanted them too, you believe in your heart that God has a darn good reason for that! And in your trust, you are also offering worship in praise for protecting you from whatever was held back!

I am finally committed to trusting God in every area of my life. Wholeheartedly in my relationships, friendships, ministry, finances, etc. What’s funny is that it seems like God had to force me to trust Him and only Him but I am grateful for that now.

Psalm 64:10The [uncompromisingly] righteous shall be glad in the Lord and shall trust and take refuge in Him; and all the upright in heart shall glory and offer praise. (Amplified)

And guess what? I have PEACE!

Philippians 4:7And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Amplified)
Peace because I KNOW God’s word is true and I have finally entered into His rest because I live by Psalm 37:4 and Matthew 6:33. No one can enter into His rest without trust, because you can’t rest if you are worrying or trying to make it happen on your own.

When you take care of God’s business, putting Him first in all things he’s guaranteed to take care of you! By finally trusting God to be God in every area of my life I am positioning myself to receive His best! I will have God’s best in my career, my future marriage, ministry, finances, etc. etc. Best means not settling for just “okay” or even “good” but that exceedingly, abundant, above all that we could ever ask or think blessing! (Ephesians 3:20) As children of the King we are worth it!

Today God has already blessed me with restoration, Pastors after God’s own heart who REALLY care about me, a 5 star ministry of Excellence, covenant friends and family that love unconditionally and pray for me, my own home and car, outer and inner beauty (Yes I am fine! If I don’t believe it, who else will?!), Godly mentors, etcetera. The list can go on and on! J

I am so excited about the possibilities…they are endless! Who knows what will happen at age 27? J I can tell you that I am very excited! Things are already occurring that I am overwhelmed (in a good way) about.

I am ready Lord for whatever you want me to do and I decrease as YOU increase! My heart? It’s finally healed because it’s in the hands of the one True King!


Lady Virtue said...

Hi Jen! It's Tenia girl! Your blog was such a blessing to me! Keep letting your bright light shine! Love you girlie!

Made Whole said...

Praise God! Thanks for reading! Love you!

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