Intimacy Chronicles...Part one...

Song of Solomon 7:10- I am my beloved’s, And his desire is toward me. (NKJV)

Like the Shulamite woman I am sure of my beloved’s desire and love towards me. I share the same sentiments of being “His.” I have been extended so much grace and mercy from my Beloved, my father God that it amazes me at times. Through all of my faults His love and desire is towards ME!

What does it mean to be “my Beloved’s?” Is it simply to be saved, or to serve in ministry? When I think of being “my beloved’s” it’s about allowing God to be Lord in every area of my life. This is even in the unspoken and secret areas of our lives. For example, is God your Lord in how you spend your money? Is He Lord over your time? Is He Lord over your gifts? Is He Lord in your relationships, or do you just allow Emotions to be your Lord?

I can speak honestly and say that I can stand to come up in all of these areas. If I say, “I am my beloved’s” then I need to be His in every area of life! This involves consistent checking with Holy Spirit to check my motives for doing certain things, and to make sure I remain in the will of God. Sometimes we can find ourselves in places we had no business being; and if we had only allowed God to truly be our beloved and sought Him first we could have avoided a potentially bad, uncomfortable, dangerous, or simply out of the will of God situation. In cases like these our desires have become our guide instead of our “Beloved” i.e. God, Holy Spirit.

The Shulamite woman’s statement, “I am my beloved’s, And his desire is toward me” sounds like a woman who is sure of where she is in her Beloved’s eyes. She knows that his desire is towards her and without a shadow of a doubt she is his. This type of relationship can only be developed with “intimacy.”

Merriam Webster Online defines intimacy as: 1belonging to or characterizing one's deepest nature: 2marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity 3 a: marked by a warm friendship developing through long association.

Applying this definition to your relationship with the Lord; your “Beloved” are you truly intimate with Him?

Have you had a very close and long association with your Beloved?

Are you familiar with His ways known to you through and by His word?

Do you engage in the discipline of Solitude and meditation of the Word to prepare yourself to receive Rhema word from Holy Spirit? Mark 1:35-[Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place ] Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

There is no substitute for this kind of intimacy. It is during these moments when my Beloved beckons me to make what I call “destiny decisions.” This is simply defined as
Intimacy with my Beloved is how I become inspired to write and create art. It’s how to receive comfort and peace. This is the type of intimacy that should be developed prior to entering any relationship, courtship, or marriage. This intimate relationship should be established before starting a ministry. How can you effectively pour to others, if you don’t allow your Beloved to consistently pour in?
We love God, but can we truly say we KNOW Him to the fullest extent that we can in our earthly bodies?...

To be continued…

Dear Lord...

Dear Lord,

What is happening to me? I need clarity. I’m not just PMSing…I know it. This feeling I can’t shake it. Lately, I have been feeling my seasons shift. And not only that, I feel like what you have for me to do is even more than what I thought…

Lord, why is it that I cry just because I want people to know you? I want them to experience your love as I have. You have brought me out of the depths of hell…I am transparent but no one but you knows everything. I have watched you protect me, and have experienced your healing power. Nights when my phone didn’t ring, and loneliness tried to rear its ugly head; your spirit comforted me and held me. I have gotten to know you and there is still so much I don’t know. I’m excited about my relationship with you. How can people EVER say they are lonely if you are there? You are just waiting for them to abandon all idols of television, radio, and sometimes even fellowship just to be with you. In YOU there’s Joy, in YOU there’s peace. You died so we could have it…And it hurts me that so many people don’t see that, or refuse to receive it. I mean YOU died so our lives could be abundant. You want us to prosper even as our soul prospers.

Everyday, I see people unhappy. I see people settling. I see people worried about the economy. CHRISTIANS. I don’t get it. You supply our needs, we are ambassadors for you. But they can only realize that by spending that intimate quality time with you…That’s how they will receive joy unspeakable.

I find myself Lord praying for people a lot more. So many people are hurting, bitter, and some lying to themselves. There are people who have not released the molestations and rapes to you. There are people who have not released the abandonment to you. Lord use me to show your love to them! Use me for your glory! I receive your wisdom and insight in order to be your spokesperson in the earth realm of your everlasting love. I want to continue to decrease, so you can increase in me…

Whatever, this new level is Lord I’m ready if you say I am and I willingly receive all that comes with it….

In YOUR Service,

Jennifer

Men of God=Example

Men...
Part of their calling is to become the heads of families that will actively submit to Christ.
In today’s society, there aren’t many examples of this.
There are men who are intimidated by beautiful, successful, women. Then there are those men who just want to be taken care of by women, who are insecure, or those who see them as sexual objects, the list can go on…

However, (I know the men were like is she going to say anything good? Lol) there are some awesome men out here! Ladies, I know we have our rap sessions and many of us have had our waiting to exhale moments but do not lose hope! There are men who will love you as Christ loves the church, who will encourage you, never hurt you, pour into you and pull the very BEST out of you! There are men who will respect your purity and treat you as the daughters of Christ that you are. They are out here…a man who WILL recognize that YOU are WORTH THE WAIT! There are men who truly practice what they preach!

You may be saying, “Well how do you know this?” I have been blessed, honored, and humbled since the beginning of my walk to be exposed to men like this. These men are brothers in Christ. Some women are blessed to have fathers who have shown them what a man of God is supposed to resemble. But for those who did not have that Godly father figure, a brother in Christ can serve as an example of a Godly man. Without these Godly examples in our lives it seems as if women tend to settle. This because they have not been exposed to better and don’t know that it is possible.

Many women have not experienced a “pure” friendship with a man without it turning into something lustful. That’s why as a man of God, it is CRITICAL for you to walk in your role. Be a leader! Show your sisters and women of God that they are loved, and that they don’t have to settle. You all (men of God) make such a difference in the lives of women just by taking ownership of your role! This means you love as Christ loves, and you become the example of righteousness! Too often we see women leading the pack when it comes to faithfulness and complete obedience to the Word…When you (men) are called to be the head!

God has exposed me to some men who love God more than anything else in the world. Men who desire to take the lead role in the things of God for their families. He has exposed me to men who won’t allow me to touch a door or lift anything heavy. Men who operate in this highest standards of chivalry. Men who will encourage you and push you to do better. Men who will protect your purity and honor you.

These men help me not to sell myself short…Because of my past, these examples were extremely critical to me. There was a time because of what I’ve experienced where I have even feared men. That fear pushed me into lifestyle not of God. I once despised men. When I saw men I saw hurt, pain, or someone that would try to use me as an object of their desire. I did not see CHRIST. When I came into the body of Christ that fear did not go away overnight. Today, I praise God that fear is gone because of men who have been the example for me. I thank God for you…and I love you. Keep doing what you are doing brothers. Continue to bless women like me. :-)

The Transition to Royalty

Thursday, October 14, 2004
Still Breathing...
In a matter of only a few weeks, I've : lost a friend of a lifetime, turned 23, went on vacation to the bahamas, had a great time, but my relationship is suffering, which causes me to move back home... only to attempt to put things back together because of all the time and energy you put into it...which is an exam within itself... I can't seem to cut a * break. I must need Jesus....


The Transition to Royalty

From August 2004 to February 2006 I kept a regular blog. This is an excerpt from that blog. The entire blog is soo awesome because if you read from beginning to the end you will literally see the Transition to Royalty and from Dark to Light. I can read the entries from 2004 and see the process and know that there is a God who is a deliverer and a restorer! I can see the maturity develop after I received the indwelling presence of Holy Spirit and begin to feed myself with the Word of God as if it was an intravenous drug. I can visually see that God delivers and maintain my faith for friends and family members as I intercede on their behalf.

There was a time when I didn’t know I was royalty according to I Peter 2:9-“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” (NIV)

Yet, during this time I let the world system define who I was and how the circumstances should turn out. On the outside it looked as if I had something good going. I had a woman…yes a woman putting me up in her home, taking care of me by shopping for me, paying my bills and taking me on vacations. This woman was not my mother…I called her “a girlfriend” or “partner.” I knew I was not in the will of God, but again I did not know who I was. Virtuous and Proverbs 31 woman were terms that I was not familiar with until later. This helps me to remain compassionate for those who struggle in Sin because; they simply don’t know that they are royalty!

Instead I was allowing myself to be defined by the world system. The world systems says, “Do what feels good or what you think feels good to you for the moment.” Ahhhhhh such deception when the word of God says, “There is a way which seems right to a man and appears straight before him, but at the end of it is the way of death.” (Proverbs 14:12, Amplified)

I was at that point…the point of death…not in a literal sense but I was spiritually dead. As you see in the blog from 2004 my world was falling apart and I did not know how to maintain. Here I go talking about, “I must need Jesus” as if Jesus is a LAST resort when he should have been my FIRST!

It isn’t until we place our Trust in Christ [instead of the World system] and believe in Him that we become New Creatures, “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” (II Corinthians 5:17, KJV)

When you recognize that in Christ you are a new Creature, you walk as a NEW creature. Nonetheless, this newness must be developed through the Renewing of our Minds.

Romans 12:2-And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (KJV)


When people ask me how I went from where I was to where I am today this is my answer: brainwashing. Sounds negative right? The truth is most of us needed to wash our brain from all of the sinful junk that it’s infected with. All of our brains need to be washed with the Word of God on a consistent basis. In fact, many believers aren’t brainwashing themselves enough and that’s why they become so fearful about the economy; not understanding that “Ambassadors” are not affected by the economy of that particular world system.
{That’s another blog for another time...We won’t go there on this one!J]

A large part of my purpose is to assist others in that “brainwashing” process. Those who desire to be completely transformed so that they may walk in the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God according to Romans 12:2. Those who want to be developed in their faith so that they will be “Made Whole” according to Matthew 9:22. I read that blog from October 2004, see the darkness and pain I was in and rejoice because of where God has me today!

This is HOW I made the transition to Royalty and from Dark to Light…Today there is no doubt and no confusion about who I am and my ultimate purpose on earth!

At 26 and 2 quarters years old, I finally get it!

As I transition to another year of life... [My birthday is October 3rd] I am forever grateful for the decision I made in 2005 to live for Christ and only Him.

Since that time, I have had many trials and tribulations but through Christ I’ve overcome them all. So much about me has changed in a year’s time. This time last year I had a certain outlook on life that has changed. You know how sometimes we ladies and men have planned our entire lives down to the tee. In my “own” mind I was supposed to be married and with child number two by the age I am approaching now. At 27 years old on October 3rd, none of that has occurred. As I reflect on the time wasted and the lessons learned over the years I know that it is by God’s grace that I am not in that position with the choices I was making. Now this isn’t a bashing blog! I am not about to bash ex boyfriends, etc. They are men of God, just not my God-ordained Man of God. I will say that since I’ve been a believer the choices I made in men were not backed by God no matter how much I attempted to fool myself into believing they were.

How do I know? Because there was always the absence of peace. Peace was no longer my umpire.
Colossians 3:15And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. (Amplified)

But I wanted it anyway. All along God was just trying to protect my heart. He knows who will treat it like he does. In my mind, I wanted to be married and have children…NOW. I was willing to sacrifice total peace and probably more to have the illusion of happiness or the American dream!

The truth is I needed to work on me! Yes, I have accomplished A LOT in my life. But God requires much more of ME because of the call on my life. I can no longer compare myself to others because they are not called to do what God has ultimately called me to do. As I type this with tears of Joy, I am so grateful and humbled for God to call me to do these things to show His glory! “Me of all people??” That is what I think most times.

The Hell I’ve experienced is enough to make some people commit suicide. I felt as though I was just hit by a bus! Truth be told and it will be told, at several points in my life that is what I wanted to occur! Can you imagine being in such agony and defeat that you would be willing to take your own life? Please the biography will give details one day. LOL

But God!!! In all of these trials I am still here! And at 26 and 3 quarters LOL I finally GET IT!
Psalm 62:8Trust in, lean on, rely on, and have confidence in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts before Him. God is a refuge for us (a fortress and a high tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (Amplified)

This is a scripture that is such a cliché to sooo many Christians! Trust takes commitment! Even when things don’t happen the way you prayed for them to happen, will you TRUST God? Most of us won’t. Most of us faint, scale back or even become angry and bitter because you haven’t received what you want. You look all around you and instead of truly being happy and rejoicing with others; you congratulate them with your mouth when your heart is far from what you say! Trust means that even though you can’t explain why things did not go down the way you wanted them too, you believe in your heart that God has a darn good reason for that! And in your trust, you are also offering worship in praise for protecting you from whatever was held back!

I am finally committed to trusting God in every area of my life. Wholeheartedly in my relationships, friendships, ministry, finances, etc. What’s funny is that it seems like God had to force me to trust Him and only Him but I am grateful for that now.

Psalm 64:10The [uncompromisingly] righteous shall be glad in the Lord and shall trust and take refuge in Him; and all the upright in heart shall glory and offer praise. (Amplified)

And guess what? I have PEACE!

Philippians 4:7And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Amplified)
Peace because I KNOW God’s word is true and I have finally entered into His rest because I live by Psalm 37:4 and Matthew 6:33. No one can enter into His rest without trust, because you can’t rest if you are worrying or trying to make it happen on your own.

When you take care of God’s business, putting Him first in all things he’s guaranteed to take care of you! By finally trusting God to be God in every area of my life I am positioning myself to receive His best! I will have God’s best in my career, my future marriage, ministry, finances, etc. etc. Best means not settling for just “okay” or even “good” but that exceedingly, abundant, above all that we could ever ask or think blessing! (Ephesians 3:20) As children of the King we are worth it!

Today God has already blessed me with restoration, Pastors after God’s own heart who REALLY care about me, a 5 star ministry of Excellence, covenant friends and family that love unconditionally and pray for me, my own home and car, outer and inner beauty (Yes I am fine! If I don’t believe it, who else will?!), Godly mentors, etcetera. The list can go on and on! J

I am so excited about the possibilities…they are endless! Who knows what will happen at age 27? J I can tell you that I am very excited! Things are already occurring that I am overwhelmed (in a good way) about.

I am ready Lord for whatever you want me to do and I decrease as YOU increase! My heart? It’s finally healed because it’s in the hands of the one True King!

Breaths of Fresh Air...

Breaths of Fresh Air...
This has been a year full of challenges and triumphs. With life's turns it becomes important to have people around you who can build you up, who you can have fun with, be yourself around and love.

This is how I feel about my church family. I attend Spirit of Faith Christian Center in Temple Hills, MD. One church 3 locations. You would think with such a large congregation that the family atmosphere would be non-existent. This has not been the case. Since the beginning of my attendance, God has connected me with awesome, spirit-filled, loving people who truly have my best interests at heart. When I am in the company of my ministry I ALWAYS know that I am protected.
Proverbs 11:14-Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

I am not saying that my church is perfect, but I praise God because it is perfect for ME. I encourage you if you do not have a church home to seek God and see where he wants you to go.

Hebrews 10:25Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

Being apart and serving with a church family that is God ordained for your life is truly a breath of fresh air!

I can say that today I truly have brother's and sister's in Christ who are all breaths of fresh air! A pastor and pastoral staff who all are a breaths of fresh air in a smog infested world.

www.spiritoffaith.org

Starting Anew!

Hello Everyone,

I am excited about joining the Regent Online family and I hope to establish relationships with you although I will be attending via online.

Finishing my degree has been a desire of mine for awhile and I recently stepped out on faith to do just that. I started out taking the regular path in life and got off from that path greatly. Through and by God's grace and mercy I am alive and healthy today! God has blessed me with the opportunity to minister and share my testimony of deliverance to many people. I am greatly humbled by the fact that he would use me in this way. Today I have am a motivational speaker, workshop facilitator, and minister. I am also the Social Event Coordinator, a model, and volunteer for Worth the Wait. http://www.iamworththewait.com/ We are taking the nation by storm with the message of sexual purity!

Allow me to be transparent with you all...

I have been involved in EVERYTHING negative it seems...sexual perversion, alcoholism, selling drugs, and using them. And if God can deliver me, and use my testimony to minister to thousands of people across the country, surely he can and WILL do it for anyone else! He is NO respecter of persons! All you need is a willing heart, and he will do the rest! I speak so candidly and I'm so transparent when it comes to this because in this world it is needed. People need to see that HOLINESS and PURITY is still possible admist the constant images in media and throughout our society that promote the opposite.

It is MY heart's desire to see everyone come into the fullness of life that's available in Jesus Christ! Being a Christian is truly a fulfilling life! My only regret is that I didn't come to Christ sooner. :-( I missed out on many years without him. I truly have a heart towards people recognizing and identifying their worth in Christ and that its okay to be HOLY, PURE, and still be COOL! :)